


Too Innocent for Coquetry

by Mara



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 16:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11832444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: Let's be honest: Once Nico has made up her mind on something, Taiga is doomed.





	Too Innocent for Coquetry

**Author's Note:**

> This is Spandexual's fault for talking about this pairing on Twitter. Thanks to Aryn for solving a minor plot problem by dint of being a health professional :)

In an ironic twist of fate, Taiga was more irritated by Hiiro now than when they'd actually been rivals/enemies/whatever. Boots propped up next to his computer and chin propped in his hand, Taiga glared at the otherwise harmless table and the slice of cake that sat on it.

The idiot had brought him a dessert as apology. Who brought…okay, well, it probably made sense in Hiiro's twisty brain, but who could figure him out anyway?

But the man needed to _stop apologizing_ or Taiga was going to rip his fucking head off. How the hell was he supposed to stop feeling guilty when Hiiro wouldn't leave him alone?

"What did the cake do to you?" Nico asked from just behind him and Taiga almost fell out of his chair in surprise. She snickered as she walked around him to grab the plate and fork.

"Hey," Taiga said, snatching them out of her hands. "That's mine."

"Hmmph. The way you were looking at it, I assumed you didn't want it." She leaned against the table and grinned at him. "Where di—oh my god." Her jaw dropped.

Taiga paused, a bite of cake near his mouth. "What?"

Nico started to grin like a madwoman. "Hiiro gave you that, didn't he?"

"So what?" Glaring, he ate the bite of cake, which was light and fluffy and chocolatey and insanely good. Whatever else you could say about the man, he did know his cake.

"Taiga's got a boyfriend!" she sing-songed at him.

"What?" He paused with the second bite halfway to his lips. "What are you talking about?"

"C'mon, I've seen the way you look at each other lately. It's dreamy." 

"Dreamy? What the hell?" He ate the bite of cake, even more irritated than he'd been before.

"I was there in your hospital room, remember?" She bounced on her toes in excitement. "I saw the way he smiled at you. And you couldn't take your eyes off him."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Standing, he decided to take his cake somewhere that didn't have Nico spouting bullshit, but he was nearly knocked over when she grabbed his arm. "Whoa!"

"You can't go! We have to figure out what your next move will be!"

Taiga stared down at the cake, hoping things would make sense sooner rather than later. "What?" he finally asked, when the cake provided no answers.

"He brought you cake. In Hiiro speak, that's pretty much the same thing as a declaration of love." Yanking on his sleeve, she sat him back down and pulled up a stool, rubbing her hands together gleefully.

"Did you hit your head?" he asked. "You're not making any sense." 

Nico rolled her eyes. "You're really claiming that you and Hiiro haven't been making googly eyes at each other for a while now?"

Googly eyes? "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Leaning over she smacked his arm. "If you two were any less subtle you'd have anime hearts appearing in your eyes."

Hiiro? Taiga stared at her. "You're claiming that Hiiro is in _love_ with me? Really? That's…preposterous."

"Is it? Why don't we test it, then?" She smiled, evil but mesmerizing.

"Test?" he asked weakly.

"He brought you a slice of cake."

"Really good cake," he couldn't help adding.

Her smirk reached epic proportions. "So you need to bring him something in return, to show you appreciated it."

"Why would I do that?" No longer hungry, he put the cake down (out of Nico's reach).

"Because you need to show him that you're not feeling guilty any longer."

"That doesn't—"

"The question is what you should bring him. It doesn't make sense to bring cake, since he buys himself all the cake he wants anyway."

"Never mind. This is ridiculous."

"So you're not going to take him something?" Nico asked.

"I didn't say that." Standing, Taiga stomped out of the room. It was only as he exited the building that he realized he'd left Nico with the cake and that was a damn shame.

* * *

Stomping up the steps to CR, Taiga felt utterly ridiculous, but he'd gotten this far, so he might as well see it through. He supposed Nico was right that he needed to reciprocate. And maybe if he did this, Hiiro would stop bloody well apologizing all the time.

Thumping the box of mikan down on the table in the empty room, Taiga nodded in satisfaction at the small orange citrus fruits. At least the idiot would have something sweet that wasn't cake. He was going to give himself scurvy, which was an absurd fate for a doctor.

Taiga dropped a note ("Hiiro: Eat some fruit, Taiga") on top of the box and turned to go, just in time for the sound of someone climbing the steps behind him. Taiga paused, halfway to the steps as Hiiro appeared, then stopped, staring at him. 

"Er," Taiga waved vaguely at the box behind him. "I brought mikan? I thought you, uh, should eat some fruit that isn't on a cake." Nodding to himself now that he'd made his delivery, he walked toward the steps, intending to leave.

It wasn't until he was almost past Hiiro that the other man spoke, and he stopped.

"Thank you." Hiiro couldn't quite look him in the eye. "I appreciate the thought."

"Uh, you're welcome." Taiga fidgeted in place, unsure what he was supposed to do now. "I guess…" Head lifting, Hiiro had a strange expression on his face and Taiga froze. Hiiro took a step forward until they were much too close, and Taiga could see that he was trembling. "Are y—"

Then Hiiro's lips were almost on his and it sent a tingle through his body even though Hiiro had missed and brushed against the corner of his mouth and Taiga's tongue bumped into his lips because he was trying to talk and Hiiro was so close that he could smell him and…

Jumping backward and nearly falling down the steps, Hiiro flushed bright red. "I'm sorry." He bowed deeply and took off back the way he'd come.

Taiga stood still, hearing the sound of Hiiro exiting the CR base. "What the fuck?"

* * *

"Oh my god, how did you screw this up?" Nico moaned an hour later, putting her head in her hands. "It was just a kiss!"

"I didn't scr—wait, no, I didn't even want him to kiss me!"

Without looking up, she flapped a hand at him. "Of course you do!"

"No, I don't!" A traitorous portion of his brain pointed out how nice even that half-kiss had felt. "I don't!" And it would have felt even better to push Hiiro against the railing and…oh hell. "I don't?" He winced as it came out as a question.

Head tilted, Nico watched him. "Are you done having your gay freakout? Because I hadn't realized how much help you actually need and it's time to get to work."

"Work?" he said (he didn't yelp, absolutely not, that would be unbecoming).

"Both of you are hopeless but Auntie Nico is going to fix that."

"Auntie Nico my—"

"C'mon," she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him across the hall to her room. "Now let's see…"

Taiga stood, blinking in astonishment, in the middle of the room as Nico pulled a plastic bin full of manga out from under her bed. "Where did you—"

"Aha!" She crowed in triumph as she dug a volume out and shoved it into his hands. "Study this."

Looking down, Taiga's eyebrows rose as he saw two scantily dressed men embracing on a bed. "What?"

"You clearly have no idea how to seduce Hiiro and I bet you don't know the first thing about sex."

"I'll have you know that I've had plenty of…wait, I'm _not_ discussing sex with you. You're a kid!" Taiga couldn’t decide if he wanted to cover his own ears or Nico's.

"You've had sex with women." Nico rolled her eyes. "Not the same thing. Look, you can either read the book or I'm going to follow you around, reading aloud an entire website on gay sex and then you get to roll condoms on cucumbers. Your choice."

Feeling the blood drain out of his face, Taiga backed up, clutching the manga volume to his chest. "Fine fine, I'll read it."

Nico nodded in satisfaction and Taiga made his escape. He retreated, as he tended to do when he needed to get away from Nico for a while, to the roof. Someone had planted a rooftop garden some years previously and it was now an overgrown disaster, but it was green and somehow he found it soothing to lean against the side of the roof and look at the greenery, surviving in the middle of the city.

Sinking to the ground, Taiga groaned when he realized he was still holding the book. Maybe he could pretend he'd read it. Like that would work, he thought with a snort. He'd be lucky if Nico didn't spring a pop quiz on him. 

What was she doing even _thinking_ about gay sex? He flipped open one of the books to a random page and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. Holy fucking…what were they doing? Where was that guy's hand? And what was he going to do with…?

Taiga slammed the book shut and stared at it in horror. What the hell was Nico thinking? He wasn't gay! Okay, he knew that his fellow riders were very attractive men, but that was just an objective observation. And maybe he'd had the occasional dream that involved his best friend in college, but hey, college students were horny for anybody, right?

And okay, his mind kept drifting back to the moment when Hiiro had leaned close, wondering what would have happened if he had tried to kiss him back the way he would have a girlfriend. Not that Hiiro was his boyfriend.

Shaking his head, Taiga growled. Not that he _wanted_ Hiiro to be his boyfriend.

It took Taiga half an hour for his curiosity to overcome his horror and he tentatively opened to the first page. Which wasn't horrifying. The book introduced the two men who were presumably the main characters. One was a scientist of some kind (the author apparently had only the vaguest idea of how science worked) and the other was a…clerk? Taiga sighed, turning the page.

Both men were apparently incredibly shy and awkward, which rather raised the question of how they were ever going to reach the position they had on the cover. Really, it was ridiculous to…

Taiga glared down at the page. Was Nico comparing him and Hiiro to these two…incompetent buffoons? Really? He wasn’t anywhere near that awkward.

His subconscious helpfully surfaced a memory of him stammering at Hiiro, but he ignored it.

Turning pages, the two men managed to have a reasonable conversation of sorts and Taiga found himself oddly pleased for them. He reminded himself he was only reading it to make Nico happy. That was it.

The scientist's ex-girlfriend showed up, breaking up the burgeoning friendship and Taiga had to close the book. He did _not_ hate Saki. It wasn't her fault that her boyfriend was an idiot with the emotional skills of a radish. Taiga _wanted_ Saki to come back, damn it. He'd thrown himself onto the battlefield to give Hiiro that chance. It was not the same as this damn book. Not at all.

Scowling at the cover, he remembered Nico's threat and swiftly opened it again. The scientists awkwardly told his ex he didn't love her anymore, but chickened out talking to the clerk, who became convinced the scientist hated him.

Taiga gritted his teeth. This book was absurd. It was actively painful to watch the two men fail to communicate in totally unrealistic ways. Even Hiiro wasn't—

Taiga resolutely went back to the book because he was _not_ imagining Hiiro in the scene in the cafeteria. Even if the way the scientist was cutting his food was familiar, as if the character had spent time in America.

The guys had some more misunderstandings that could have been avoided if they had just talked to each other, but they finally managed to go on a date, although the clerk was still saying he didn't date men. And then the scientist tried to kiss the clerk and Taiga couldn't help but remember the look on Hiiro's face. Oh gods, it was the same fear of rejection. But it was…Taiga hadn't…

Well, fuck. Taiga glared at the book. He didn't need to apologize to Hiiro, even if the jerk of a clerk had to. It wasn't the same.

The apology turned into another kiss, much more successful. Taiga swallowed and turned the page as the men went back to the scientist's apartment and there was more kissing. Which was kind of hot. But only because kissing was good. Taiga liked kissing.

Then clothing started to come off and Taiga remembered what it felt like to have someone touch you. And then…there were two dicks and they were touching and that should not have been hot. Taiga couldn't stop reading as the scientist begged for more and wouldn't Hiiro look pretty in that position, sprawled on a bed?

Face red and pulse elevated, Taiga slammed the book shut. No! Just because Hiiro's smile (and damn Nico, but he knew exactly which smile she meant) had made his heart skip a few beats…

Taiga dropped the book, burying his head in his hands. He was too old to re-evaluate his sexual identity. Surely he couldn't be bisexual. But now that the images had started, his traitorous mind suggested others for the starring role. Surely Emu would look gorgeous with his face flushed. Or Kiriya. He probably had no inhibitions in bed.

Oh fuck it all. Taiga took a breath and reopened the book, forcing himself to follow as the two men stripped the rest of their clothing and had extremely graphic sex. Part of his brain shied away from the details but the rest helpfully pointed out that his dick was extremely interested in those details. 

Sex scene over, Taiga closed the book and stared at the tangle of greenery in front of him. So…he wasn't repulsed by the idea of sex with a man. That was new. (His subconscious pretty much gave up the ghost of rationality at this point and settled in with popcorn to watch what happened next.)

What the hell was he supposed to do? With a sigh, Taiga rose and went back down into the building to find Nico.

* * *

Taiga dropped the book on the table in front of her, crossing his arms and waiting as she took off her headphones.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well, what?"

"Well what did you learn from reading them?"

He snorted. "That you have terrible taste in reading material. That's not how guys talk."

"That's not the point."

"If you're trying to imply that Hiiro and I are anything like those two, then you're—"

Nico thumped the table. "Don't give me that. I've had to watch the two of you dance around each other for most of a year. You were going to stammer and stare at each other until the sun exploded if I didn't do something."

"You're imagining things."

She narrowed her eyes and studied him. Then she picked up the book and flipped to a page, sticking it in front of his face. "What about this?"

Taiga's eyes were automatically drawn to the two-page spread, where the two men were kissing passionately and damned if the scientist didn't strongly resemble Hiiro. Mouth gone inexplicably dry, Taiga managed to say "What about it?" He tore his eyes away from the vivid drawing.

Nico was still looking at him as she closed the book. "Fine," she said. "Never mind. But just remember that Hiiro kissed _you_." She stomped out of the room.

Taiga sat down rather abruptly in a chair. He'd forgotten that minor detail. Head in his hands, he wondered what he'd done in a past life to deserve this.

* * *

In the end, he was saved from his ruminations by an emergency call. Dashing to the scene with Nico not far behind him, Taiga had only a moment to panic as he and Hiiro nearly ran each other down before the Bugster attacked.

Taiga dropped into game mode, where the only thing that mattered was the fight, hitting the bad guy as many times as possible while trying to avoid hitting civilians or comrades. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Emu engaged with a second Bugster and he automatically re-evaluated his battle to include just one Bugster and Brave.

It was by the book until a lucky strike hit Brave at just the right angle, sending him flying into a wall with an audible crack. He slid to the ground, losing his transformation and lying very still. Taiga felt a well of rage rise from his stomach and he launched a series of attacks so vicious, the Bugster actually looked startled before he disappeared in a flash.

Taiga had dropped his own transformation before the dust had even settled, almost flying over to where Hiiro lay, unmoving. Taiga immediately put a finger on his pulse and an ear over his mouth, closing his eyes as he waited for the two vital signs.

He nearly collapsed in relief when he felt a slightly slowed pulse and could hear Hiiro's steady breaths. Within moments, Hiiro's eyes were blinking open and Taiga checked his pupils.

"I don't have a concussion," Hiiro said, sounding irritated.

"Well, pardon me if I check that for myself." Taiga glared at him.

"Nor do I have any broken bones." He started to sit up, but winced and Taiga caught him as he nearly slipped to the ground. 

"Ribs?" Taiga asked as he helped him stay upright.

"Possibly one or two cracked," Hiiro said grudgingly after a moment. "The intern will patch me up."

They both looked over at Emu, whose opponent had also fled and was now talking to Poppy and Nico.

Taiga's mouth ran away with him. "Come back with me. I'll tape your ribs."

Hiiro just stared at him.

"We, well, we should talk." Taiga couldn't believe he'd just said that. But…

Slowly, Hiiro nodded and Taiga helped him stand. They limped over to the others, who turned, looking concerned.

"Are you okay?" Emu asked.

"Fine," Hiiro said. "Go back to CR. I'll be back soon."

Emu nodded, eyes flicking between the two of them and clearly curious. But he obligingly led Poppy away and Nico grinned at Taiga and said, "See ya later!" Then she trotted off in a direction clearly opposite where they lived.

Taiga couldn't decide if he was grateful or if he was going to strangle her when she came back.

* * *

They were silent as they made their way back to the abandoned hospital. Taiga snuck a few glances at Hiiro, who looked paler than normal, but whether that was pain or something else was unknown.

Hiiro didn't meet his eyes or speak except to answer questions about his physical condition. He seemed to be correct about not being concussed but he definitely had two cracked ribs, which Taiga taped up for him. Then he shoved a cup of water and some painkillers into Hiiro's hand. "Take these."

Hiiro carefully placed them on the exam table next to him, unused. "No, thank you."

Taiga growled. "You prefer being in pain?"

"I prefer being lucid for this conversation," Hiiro snapped back.

"Then take them when we're done."

"Fine." Hiiro started to cross his arms, but clearly reconsidered it. 

Taiga opened his mouth, then realized he had no idea what he was going to say. His whole worldview was upended and—

"I apologize again," Hiiro said, sounding strangled.

"What?" Taiga blinked, torn out of his train of thought.

"I apologize for my inappropriate actions and I hope you can choose to forget about them." He tried to bow but was again clearly thwarted by his painful ribs.

"No, that's not…" Taiga rubbed his eyes. "I'm not mad."

"I'm pleased to hear that." 

Hiiro tried to lever himself off the exam table but Taiga grabbed his shoulders, pushing gently. "Wait. I wasn't upset. Well, okay, a little, but not like you think."

With a blink, Hiiro's face showed complete incomprehension.

"I was just surprised. I didn't know…that you wanted that. Or…" Taiga looked down at Hiiro's face and swallowed. "Or that I might. I just never thought about it. Look, you know how it is."

Hiiro blinked a few more times.

"Oh, hell." Taiga kept his grip on Hiiro's shoulders and crowded in close for a kiss.

If there was one thing Taiga knew how to do besides shoot things in a video game, it was kiss. And he employed every trick he'd ever practiced on a woman, figuring it couldn't be _that_ different.

It wasn't different. Hiiro melted immediately under the assault, leaning toward him and opening his mouth. Taiga dove in, tangling tongues, nipping at his lips, varying pressure and intensity. Hiiro tried to copy everything, with limited success, but it was still…stimulating.

Taiga hazily realized his hands had moved down Hiiro's body and it had to be hurting his ribs, so he pulled back. Hiiro made a small noise when Taiga lifted his head and Taiga swallowed a gasp at how sexy it was to hear that reaction from someone so…controlled.

Hiiro didn't look anything like his normal self, Taiga thought with some satisfaction. His tidy hair was mussed, his lips red, and his eyes unfocused. Without thinking, Taiga brought a hand up and traced Hiiro's lips with a finger, wiping off dampness he'd left there. 

"Does that explain things sufficiently, Dr. Kagami?" he asked with a smirk.

"I believe it does, Dr. Hanaya." Hiiro's voice wasn't entirely steady.

"Perhaps once your ribs have healed, we could investigate this further."

"I…would like that."

Looking at Hiiro's expression of stunned joy, there was really only one problem remaining, Taiga thought.

Nico was going to be _unbearably_ smug about the whole thing.

\--end--

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're curious, Nico's theatrical discovery of the manga at the beginning of the story was just that: theatrical. She's had the book strategically placed for at least a month, waiting for the chance to make Taiga read it and figure out that he and Hiiro belong together. She ships them SO HARD, folks.


End file.
